The title of this post may have shocked you and this post is aimed to help inspire and be open about one's feelings. Mental health is often spoken about these days but the reasons why we suffer is much less spoken about?




Back in 2017-2018 I was undergoing IVF treatment with my partner after a while of trying for children without any success. The realisation, after failed rounds, of perhaps not ever becoming a dad dawned on me. Up until our second failed attempt, I was in complete denial that this was happening in my life. I just focussed on supporting my partner, disregarding my own emotions. I was just doing everything I could to be there for my partner. I barely spoke about my feelings to anyone, embarrassed to admit that we may not ever be parents. So many questions,


"Shouldn't we just be able to have a child?"

 "why us?"

"How is this fair?"


During this time though I was competing at Buckmore Park with my friend Russ releasing all of that built up anger and tension and put it down on the track. For me, this was my little escape for an hour each month. Each podium, each good result meant so much to me. I was finding a way to cope. Little did my competitors know my situation, nor did anyone know that I crossed the line several times with tears in my eyes. Motorsport was my escape. 


Little did I realise though, I was on the verge of a breakdown. Taking time away from my job, some much-needed counselling all helped. But nothing would focus me more than being at the track. 



After I had been given an opportunity to race in 2019, this still overwhelms me that this happened. I wanted to reach out to other guys who perhaps were feeling similar to me and understanding how motorsport helped me, I wanted to help others out. 

To date, this has been the scariest thing I had ever done. I was about to enter the world of the media and speak openly about my fertility struggles to offer my support to other guys and get them talking.  


The moment I did this and started openly talking about my fertility issues to other people, something switched in my mind. I guess a form of acceptance, the fact I was realising that I wasn't alone anymore. There were other guys out there who felt exactly how I do. 


Now I am not saying everyone should go to the media about their problems, this really took so much energy and courage and looking back I still admire myself for the courage I plucked up back then.



But since that day, I have never looked back. Speaking openly to others through the support group I co-host and all the other activities I participate in around fertility and mental health. Has allowed me to understand my mental strength, how to cope with fertility struggles. But above all, I get to support so many men across the country. Using motorsport as my vehicle (excuse the pun) to help those dealing with fertility issues and give them a voice, that they are not alone. 


Nobody should ever suffer in silence as I did, nobody should ever feel they have no one to turn to. We should always be kind, we should always be mindful and above all, we should always be there for one another. 


My entire motorsport platform lives and breaths these values. Motorsport saved my life and I want to help save others.